Series: GOD’S WORD IN MY WORLD
Title: “God’s Word in My Relationships”

Preacher: Pastor Adeniyi Faboya 
Text:Matthew 25: vs 31 – 46
 
What do we understand by the word relationship?
  1. A connection, association, or involvement.
  2. The connection between persons by blood or marriage.
  3. An emotional or other connection between people:
 
It is a state of connectedness that involves mutual dealings between people, party or Country.
 
All of our relationships are based on trust.
  • If I can’t trust you,
  • I won’t confide in you.
  • I won’t have faith that you will do what you say.
  • I won’t know whether you are telling me the truth or not.
 
Types of Relationships
For the purpose of this message, I will like to classify relationships into two types:
 
  1. Vertical Relationship
  2. Horizontal Relationship
 
Vertical relationship is between superiors and inferiors in which the person on top has more wisdom and knowledge than the person on the bottom.
An example of this is the relationship between God and Man
Horizontal relationship is your relationship with people around you
When your vertical relationship (with God) is not in place or is wavering.
All of your earthly relationships, whether you know it or acknowledge it, are held up or let down by the condition of your vertical relationship with God.
You can never get your horizontal relationship right until you get your vertical relationship with God right.
It is God’s word that will enable you and encourage you to work and put your relationship with people around you right.
That is why we should pay attention to this second message in this series “God’s word in my relationship “
God, Himself takes personal interest in the way we relate to each other
Mathew 25: vs 45
Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’
Proverbs 3: vs 27 – 29
James 4: vs 17
Now listen to this story of two different people and see their attitude to their relationships.
On June 1, 2005, Percy Arrowsmith, 105-years-old, and his 100-year-old wife Florence celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary – Percy died two weeks later.
They met at their church in Hereford, England. He sang in the choir, and she was a Sunday school teacher.
According to the Guinness World Record authorities, the couple held the record for the longest marriage, as well as the oldest aggregate age of a married couple.
The Arrowsmiths claimed the key to their long marriage was not to go to sleep on an argument.
They always kissed each other and held hands each night before going to bed.
Now contrast that lovely story with the following:
A man from Berlin, Germany, took an unusual approach in trying to bring peace to his marriage.
CNN reported that the man was using an old air raid siren to stun his wife into submission.
“My wife never lets me get a word in edgeways,”
the man identified as Vladimir R. told the police. “So I crank up the siren and let it rip for a few minutes.
It works every time. Afterwards, it’s real quiet again.
” The 73-year-old man’s 220-volt rooftop siren was confiscated by police after neighbors filed complaints.
As for his wife of 32 years, she said: “My husband is a stubborn mule, so I have to get loud.”
Now let’s ask ourselves some questions, maybe we can find answers to them.
Why is it that some relationships can run smoothly, even during difficult times, while others seem to be in conflict mode at all times and all seasons?
And I’m not just talking about marital relationships, but relationships with our kids, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and relatives.
For some reason, many of us just don’t seem to be able to get along with others.
Thankfully, the Bible gives us some instructions that will help us to have good relations with just about anybody.
We are going to use the word RELATE as an acronym to help us remember the 6 things the Bible has to say about how to have a healthy relationship.
Let’s start with “R.” First of all, no matter who we are dealing with, we need to…
  1. RESPECT
We must respect others for who they are.
The truth of the matter is that we have lost the value of respecting others in our culture.
We have forgotten how to respect the elderly, our spouses, our employers, and just about everybody else.
Yet the Bible tell us this:
1 Peter 2: vs 17
Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.(NIV)
Have you ever paid close attention to Jesus’ ministry and noticed how respectful he was, especially of people that no one else respected?
He went out of His way to show love and respect to
  • Prostitutes, John 8: 1 – 11
  • Tax collectors, Luke 19: 1 – 10
  • Lepers, Luke 17: 11 – 19
  • The poor and others that society had rejected.
And by showing them His respect, He was able to very quickly gain their respect in return, and start down the road to building healthy relationships.
If you are disrespectful of your spouse, or your children, or your parents, you are simply asking for a troubled relationship.
1 Peter 3: vs 7
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
The Bible teaches us that if we begin treating others the way we would like to be treated, we will be fulfilling God’s law.
 Mathew7: vs 12
“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” – Matthew 7:12 (NLT)
If we begin here, we’ll be well on our way to building healthy relationships.
2. ENGAGE WITH THEIR HEART AND MIND
Engaging with people’s mind and heart in many ways goes along with showing respect,
This is showing respect in a way that lets people know that you care about them and what they think.
It is speaking to them in such a way that they know that you value them.
It is about showing a real interest in them.
For instance, once Jesus met a Samaritan woman at the well and the following dialogue ensued:
 John 4: vs 7 – 10
Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.” … The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?”  Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.” – John 4:7-10 (NLT) 
Now, this dialogue becomes an opening whereby Jesus is able to not only teach her of the love that God has for her but also demonstrates to her that He is interested in her as an individual person.
Or take the account of when the little children were brought to Jesus:
Mathew 19: vs 13 – 15
One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.  But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”  And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left. – Matthew 19:13-15 (NLT) 
Now, what effect did Jesus’ words and actions have on those children, as well as on their parents?
I’m sure that it was a demonstration of the warmth and comfort that they could receive through a relationship with Jesus.
If we want to have solid relationships with our spouses, children, co-workers, as well as unchurched people, we need to let them know that we are interested in them as individuals and not take them for granted.
You will let everyone know that you care about them by engaging their minds and hearts.
They need to know that you care about how they feel, what they think about any given subject, and how we can help them reach their goals in life.
It is looking out for the other person’s interests in this manner that will help you to grow solid relationships that will never go away.
Galatian 6: vs 9 – 10
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.
3. LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY
To build a good a Godly relationship, we must love unconditionally.
This is probably one of the most difficult things that we are called to do.
To love unconditionally means that my love for a person will remain no matter what they do, what they say, or whether they agree with me or not.
To love unconditionally does not mean I have to approve of everything the other person does or says…
It is about making up your mind that your love for them will not waver.
For instance, you might have a child that does something that you do not approve of – you might have to discipline them for what they have done, but it does not affect the level of love that you have for them.
The perfect example of this is the love that God has for us even though many times we have turned against Him and openly sinned.
Can you think of anything that you have done or said in your life that would have been displeasing to God? I certainly can.
Yet God still offered His Son as a love gift to us – not because we had earned it, and not because we were living lives that He approved of – but simply because His love for us is without condition.
Romans 5: vs 8
God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Romans 5:8 (NLT)
I want you to notice that last phrase –
“while we were still sinners.”
God didn’t wait for you to get your act together –
He didn’t lay down any requirements whatsoever before He offered you His love.
His love was and is given to those who hate Him, to those who mock Him, to those who teach others to turn away from Him – God’s love is offered without condition.
Now when we consider the great example that God has shown us of unconditional love, shouldn’t we show that same type of love toward others?
It is easy to love other people when they love us back, but it is quite another thing to love those who are unlovable.
Luke 6: vs 32
 “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!” – Luke 6:32 (NLT)
What God is asking us to do is to love that wayward child, to love that unfaithful spouse, and to love that business partner who has cheated us.
Now is any of this easy? Of course not! But it is what is necessary if we are going to build godly relationships.
Romans 13: vs 8
Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
4. APPROACH GOD ON THEIR BEHALF
 
1 Timothy 2: vs 1
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. – 1 Timothy 2:1 (NLT) 
 
Job 42: vs 10(NIV)
After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.
There is nothing that makes a person feel better than knowing that you are praying on their behalf.
The purpose of doing this isn’t to build relationships, but that is a side benefit.
We pray for others because we care about them, and when we show that we care, the relationship is solidified.
 5. TAKE WHATEVER TIME IS NECESSARY
To build a Godly relationship, you must make time and give time to that individual.
Although you have to be careful that time wasters don’t take advantage of you.
Earlier we looked at Jesus’ response to the children who were brought to Him. The disciples said, “Don’t bother Him,” but Jesus told them to come. (Mathew 19 : vs 13 – 15)
Similar events were repeated many times over in the life of Jesus.
He was willing to spend the time necessary to minister to others.
Are we giving enough time to our family, to our friends, and to our fellow church members to build healthy relationships with them?
When someone is important to us we are willing to spend whatever time is necessary to build a relationship with them.
When we are not willing to spend the time necessary, they recognize that fact, and they also walk away realizing that they are not a priority in our life.
How much time is necessary?
It depends on the situation – but there is no doubt for most of us that a whole lot more time is needed than we are presently devoting to the most important people in our lives.
Of course, it doesn’t have to stay that way – the cure for this is simple, but you and I have to make a decision to change, and then follow through with it.
 5. ENCOURAGE THEM TO RELATE TO OTHERS 
This is perhaps the most important thing that we can do.
We need to take what we have learned about relationships and teach it to others.
The Bible has been given to us as a resource that can help us in multi-faceted ways – and one of those ways is taking what we’ve learned and passing it down to the next generation.
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.  God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. – 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT)
Notice this phrase… “God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” The Bible is not just here to teach us doctrine, theology, church history, and the like – it is here to prepare us in every aspect of life.
And one of those ways is in how to relate to others.
We need to teach what it has to say in this regard to other people – and how do we do that?
One way is to simply begin living this way ourselves and then allowing our influence to spread.
Another way is to actually encourage those who are living out godly relationships and letting them know that you appreciate all that they are doing to build the types of relationships that are honored by God.
Conclusion:
And what are the steps again?
RESPECT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE
ENGAGE THEIR MIND AND HEART
LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY
APPROACH GOD ON THEIR BEHALF
TAKE WHATEVER TIME IS NECESSARY
ENCOURAGE THEM TO RELATE TO OTHERS
If you’ll do these things, you will find all of your relationships will begin coming together in ways you’ve only dreamed of before.
Lastly, remember
Hebrew 12: vs 14 – 15
Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;